Sex Battle
by AndrzejAndrex
Summary: Kai and his friends will be have the worst enemies in the world - girls!
1. Felines coming

**Chapter 1**

Zambezia awaits for the important guest. This guest is Feline Femines – the famous European social activist. She's supposed to be sponsor and promoter of this town in her continent. Her coming makes local gossip girls talking about her.

- It's unbelievable that Feline Femines is coming to our town! – said one of the gossip girls.

- No, unbelievable is her! Have you read about her! It seems she's flying from Europe! – replied second gossip girl.

- Ah, I heard about that and can't believe it! Far from Jupiter she's coming to Earth, she have to have iron lungs or even lead!

- Or even made from ununtrium!

- What is this?

- Don't you know? Don't you know this word? But exist the word like that!

- But about what is this word, some species of butter or some?

- Don't be kidding me girl!

- So what is this?

- But about what are we now talking?

- About Feline Femines' coming.

- No, the second topic!

- But we haven't got second topic, because I would know about it!

Second gossip girl felt broken down, shook her head and put her wing on face. Meanwhile in the airport were waiting Kai and Ezee.

- Don't know why everybody getting excited about the visit of this Feline Something. Lastly we had other important girl and she was seen off in disgrace as prostitute. Actually what did you do together?

- Sex! Don't you even know what fantastic feeling is doing it with eagle! It was really an ecstasy! – stated proud Ezee.

- But what is this sex? Sounds like food product made from milk by precipitating fat and protein.

- You birdy don't know what sex is? What is that miracle that you have a girlfriend?

- But what has it to do with my girlfriend?

- With you – nothing. But if she would be with me, she would be know what is life!

- Are you crazy? – interrupted Zoe – You're too small in ears to talk with me this way! I may only get you out from bed forinfringing my personal area.

- Oh I really want to infringe something different! – stated Ezee. Moment later Zoe hit Ezee with wing so strong, that he lost conciousness. Flying fast came Sekhuru with Tendai.

- Holy Crow, Zoey, what are you did? – Sekhuru asked his daughter.

- Sorry dad, but he infringed my personal area. – replied Zoe.

- Ezee came into your bed? – asked Kai.

- No Kai, this isn't what I say! – replied annoyed Zoe.

- Then what? That you did was shameful. Now because of you, your friend lays unconcious on ground and Morton is trying to do him mouth-to-mouth... Wait a minute, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! – stated dissapointed Sekhuru, then ended up screaming.

- What man, I just doing him artificial respiration! – replied Morton.

- What may artificial respiration do while made through breastbone?! – asked Tendai.

- I want to my breath to go straight into his lungs!

- It will go faster if put plastic pipe into him!

- Don't you dare joking otherwise he might do it! – screamed Sekhuru to Tendai.

- Don't be stupid Sekhuru I don't even have any pipe! – stated Morton.

- Ezee always have plastic pipe with him, so he doesn't have to spend money on straws. – stated Kai.

- So he's stealing my money?! Get me him and if he's alive, I'll kill him! – screamed Mushana.

Meanwhile unnoticed by them, to Zambezia came Feline Femines. She was coming to Sekhuru.

- Hello, may I talk with someone called Sekhuru? – asked Feline.

- Shut up stupid girl, we have here very serious problem! – screamed Sekhuru. Suddenly reporter started to fly around and began to do photos.

- Breaking news! Zambezia's president say to Feline Femines „Shut up stupid girl"! How will be Feline's reaction? You'll know first if you buy Birdy Europa News SA! – screamed reporter sparrow. Sekhuru saw that Feline Femines is in Zambezia and turned back to her.

- I'm really sorry, I didn't know that were you! – explained Sekhuru.

- Thanks, you have to do all wrong with that small brain of yours. May I talk with someone smart? – replied Feline.

- I know someone who was all high and mighty but now he's laying unconcious on ground. – ironically stated Zoe.

- He's drunk! Typical male! – stated Feline.

- Why drunk, from where had you had this idea? He's completely sober. - said Sekhuru.

- Yes, of course, you defende him, I despite you all males! And you, what's your name?

- Zoe.

- Listen, spread it to all local birds that I want to see all Zambezia's girls in best restaurant in town in yesterday!

- Understood! – said Zoe and went to accomplish her mission.

- Damn, now when she's out to gather all the girls in Zambezia, who will take Ezee to hospital and take care of him? – asked worried Sekhuru.

- I'll sacrifice myself for you in the name of rules to Independent Zambezia, lovely! – said Cecil.

- So you will take Ezee? – asked Sekhuruu.

- No, I have my loyal friends to do it! Morton, Sill and all the others, take this poor boy before he lose all of his blood!

- I did my job earlier! – said Morton.

- Yes, this was so crazy… Pull, you moron! – said Tendai.

- Ok, ok! But in exchange you're gonna do something for me, you'll see!

- I hope that he's isn't thinking about this what Ezee did in unfamous action with this eagle Swansea!

- Now called "Easy Swansea"! – added Sekhuru.

- But why she's called „Easy Swansea"? – asked Kai.

- Because only easy girls want the birds like your Ezee. – said Tendai.

- It's fact, the girls don't like Ezee, but never before he wasn't hit by none like Zoe did.

- But it was easy to guess that he'll get what he give, but we still have to take care him.

- And we have to get by without nurses who were invited to mysterious conference with miss Femines. By the way, I'm very interested about topic miss Femines want to talk with those girls. – stated distracted Sekhuru.


	2. Gathering

**Chapter 2**

Meanwhile in the most exclusive restaurant in Zambezia local girls had gathered after been convened by Zoe.

- Get out male! This is for girls only! – screamed Feline, who banished Mushana from his own bar.

- You gonna pay for it, this is my restaurant! – screamed annoyed Mushana.

Meanwhile all Zambezia's girls are came to the bar. Only a few had her own chair, rest had to sit on the ground. Everybirdy but uniformly stood up when to the roof flew Feline Felines. Feline was female white-tailed eagle. Beak and talons was yellow and eyes – green. She had red tail and light feathers in her head who looks like she had eyebrows. The Zambezia's girls felt the respect to her looking at her mark in her crotch. She made this herself using her talons to show that she is independent from men and don't want to be in relationship with none of them. Despite she said it in TV, the girls through that she was disfigured by unknown bandit and only Zoe knew how is true. Feline long waited to microphone but impatient girl decided to talking without it.

- OK, this moron owning this bar don't want to give me microphone so you have to listen me exactly to hear something. – said Feline – So... hello dear girls and the girls too, I have an important thing that I have to say to you.

- This that pipes are leaking this I know! – interjected Gogo.

- What pipes? – asked Feline.

- What she said? – asked Zoe.

- Here's aren't any pipes! – said Feline.

- Because it's in my home, but it's leaking and nobody wants to repair it! – said Gogo.

- Are you ask someone to help? – asked Feline.

- Yes, of course, I asked Mushana, but he stated that this pipe is impossible to repair because he hadn't material to do it. So I walked to Sekhuru and asked for order this material, but he didn't want to do it saying that he can't do it.

- How manly! And some other men failed your trust?

- In total… Tendai still hang me 5 pounds because of some candy bar from nuts and his son Kai don't say me "good morning" meanwhile Ezee mated with unknown eagle and don't even want to look at me!

- It's unbelievable! You're listed all men's defects in one statement! Don't want to help girl in need, don't pay their debt, they are churlish, boorish and they want only sex and not with you only with some harlot!

- Don't say that! – screamed Zoe.

- This is only a clear truth! – said Feline.

- Kai don't behave like this!

- Is he did anything for you?

- He saved my life exposing his one!

- Cute! He is with you only for your priceless body and he want to mate with you in every time like a dachshund a piece of meat!

- We are even never ever did it!

- Because you resist him, bravo girl!

- Why are you try by force to convince me that my boyfriend is bad?

- I don't have to convince you, you are should be know that men are bad.

- No!

- Don't be stubborn, are you want to say that none male don't raped you?

- But I wasn't never raped.

- So someone hit you!

- No…

- So someone said something bad about you!

- Only one time, but only Ezee!

- And what Kai did with it?

- Nothing, I hit him!

- So why you have male if you can hold the pass from bandit?

- But…

- Is he actually worth to be with you?

- But…

- Is he really the knight In gold armor who don't let you be unhappy?

- But… but.

- So… Are you have something to say?

- Leave me alone!

Zoe keep cried.

- So… Someone have something to say to this girl?

Silence.

- OK, so now I talking. I came here to you in very important issue of gender equality. In my head stand obligation to may apply for equality of all the girls. I'm all the time very perplexed this how objectified are women. Women that are so very poor, suffered, permanently harmed, tiny, faintly, like next to nothing, miniscule they are smolder, petty and so poor in the corner standing without no chance from nowhere and suddenly some male rape her with sandpaper right in the face, BUT I DON'T ALLOW IT! I simply got red from angel when I see male and his happy eyes, but don't allow it! Don't allow to any minute longer male be happy from unhappy girl, don't allow it! Don't allow to he still torturing, beating and humiliating, don't allow it, DON'T ALLOW IT! Simply don't allow to harm tiny, poor and permanently suffered woman by big manly men with a lot of hating in mouth and deed!

- Especially you're very big victim, we're all know that you are bigger that your potentially mates! – drawed attention Gogo.

- Because I take care about it! All the free time I practice my muscles and eat a healthy diet, only breams and carps! And also training boxing and martial arts too! And what you did to be larger and stronger? Nothing! – replied Feline.

- This is true. Gogo never cared about her thews. – added Tini.

- You see goldy! And this girl why still keep crying? Give her some rattle to make her happy! – said Feline about Zoe – We meanwhile doing tactic plan.

- What's the plan? – asked Gogo.

- Revenge plan!

- What's the revenge? – asked Tini.

- Revenge for oppressions of course! We give tit for tat! – replied Feline.

- What's the oppressions?

- From males of course! They never ever raise hand against us again!

- But my Neville never ever raise his hand against me, if he tried it then I put him to the vertical! – said Neville's wife.

- So you are show him why he shouldn't be raise his hand against you! – replied Feline.

- Don't understand why I may beat him without no reason but I don't be arguing with you.

- Of course! So let's stride together and let connect us the strength of community and unity like a Muslims love their religion!

- And goats! – screamed one of gossip girls. Moment later she was hit by brick in her head.

- Imitate that this wasn't happened and let's go to show males their place in a number! In the name of equality of women! – ended Feline.

- Great! Next one will be demand of equality of homosexual minority! Me and Tini are lesbians and we want to be normal tolerated by sociality! – screamed Gogo.

- Gogo, you haven't to say it, now they are now that we are together! – said worried Tini.

- And good! Let they know! I don't want to hide my difference and the rest could be tolerate me like any other person!

- Lesbians? It's great for you because lesbians are let through it means that you're going first! – said Feline.

- You heared it Tini? We are going first! Let them tell more that they are repair my pipe then I lose my consciousness! – said exited Gogo.

- In that case we aren't repair your pipe, we need you all! – said Feline.

- No, I don't go if you don't repair my pipe!

- OK, so I repair your pipe!

- HAHAHA! – laughed Gogo and faints.

- OK, so maybe we delay it to next hour? – asked Tini.

- This will be the best option. – stated Feline.


End file.
